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The Goal of Parenting

Over the course of our parenting series at GBCK there's been an underlying question we've been asking ourselves: what's the goal of parenting?

After some reflection I realized that one of my "goals" for my three sons is that they are liked.  I want them to have friends, I want them to fit in.  While I don't state this goal out loud, I do see how it determines how I parent.  I don't advocate follow-the-crowd behavior, but I do want my kids to fit in to a certain degree.

Lately, my middle son is saying he doesn't have anyone to play with at recess.  The other day Julie was at the school and saw #2 son at a distance during recess walking around by himself, verifying what he's been telling us.

Man, that broke my heart.

Is wanting my kids to have friends a bad thing? I don't think so.  But should this be the goal of parenting my kids?  Should my parenting be based on whether my kids will be liked?

What is the goal of your parenting?

Deuteronomy 6:5 says, "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."  Jesus recites this verse in the Gospels when asked what is the most important commandment.

In short, the whole aim/goal of life is to love God with our whole being.  Since parenting is part of life, it follows that the goal of parenting is to teach our children to love God.

Do I want my kids to have friendships? Yes.  Do I want them to be happy and successful in life? Absolutely.  Do I want them to have things and opportunities? Sure.

But, ultimately I'm learning that the aim of parenting is teach my kids to love God.

In the next couple of days I'll share some thoughts about how we teach our children to love God.

^"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, 'Of all the commandments, which is the most important?'  'The most important one,' answered Jesus, 'is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'" (Mark 12:28-30)