Prayers for my Keiki
Here's a super cool tool you can use to pray for your child. It's a simple prayer card with a short prayer and scripture passage you can pray over your child.
There's a back side too.
We'll be passing these out at GBCK this Sunday for the conclusion of our parenting series.
Parenting Q&A with Dr. Hale Akamine
This past Sunday GBCK featured a Q&A session with Dr. Hale Akamine as part of our Parental Guidance series. Over the past few weeks people submitted their parenting questions for Hale which he answered live on Sunday.
Here are some highlights:
Question: How do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: Talk about sex in the context of a loving relationship between a husband and wife. Help your child understand sex as a part of a healthy marriage.
Question: At what age do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: A suggested age is between 10-12 years old.
Question: At what age is it appropriate to date?
Answer: It's important to note that the human brain doesn't fully form its logical thinking abilities until age 24. Yet, the male reaches his sexual peak at age 17. So, to pair up your children in a dating situation puts them together when sexual urges are the strongest, yet their ability to reason isn't yest developed. It's suggested to encourage group activities when interacting with the opposite sex.
Question: When do I let my child quit an activity? What's the difference between teaching perseverance and being too driving?
Answer: First, ask why you desire your child to remain in an activity. Is it because you never played the sport, instrument, etc. that you want them to? If your child is losing interest, it's a good idea to put an end date to the activity and evaluate whether your child wants to continue.
These are just a few of the questions answered by Dr. Hale. You can listen to the full Q&A here under "Rock the Doc".
Doing Bad Stuff
(The Goal of Parenting, part 3)
Julie is really good about doing a breakfast devotional with the boys. She reads from a daily devotional and then asks them questions and gets them to respond.
Today I did the devotional, and guess what it was about? Yep, sin.
So, how do you talk to kids about sin? (Go here to read about why we need to teach children about sin.)
If you ask my kids what sin is they will tell you it's "doing bad stuff." This is a typical response, not just for kids, but for adults too. But is sin really just about not doing bad stuff? If so, then we can deal with sin by changing our behavior. As the saying goes, "don't dance, don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew, and don't go out with girls who do."
However, the problem of sin goes beyond behavior modification; it's not about doing bad stuff. If we deal with sin by simply changing our behavior then who needs Jesus? All one needs is discipline, or inspiration, or a good therapist, or a strong mind, etc.
The problem of sin is that we cannot deal with sin. There is nothing we can do to save ourselves from sin. Even really good people who recycle, vote, use their blinkers on the freeway, and listen to Christian radio can't save themselves.
So when we teach our kids about sin, it's not only about doing bad stuff. Yes, let's correct bad behavior, but we must also teach them that we are lost in our sin and that no amount of good behavior can ever correct our sin.
At breakfast I recalled the story about Aaron nearly drowning at Ko'olina. That got their attention. I reminded them that no matter how hard Aaron tried he couldn't get his head above water. And just as mommy saved Aaron, so did Jesus save us.
I believe that when this really sinks in to our kids, when they really begin to understand in their hearts what Jesus did for us, it's the beginning of a lifelong journey of loving God.
And let me add, I know it sounds like Leave it to Beaver sitting at breakfast and talking about deep biblical truths, but it's not. In the middle of daddy's teaching are lots of burps, butt jokes, and general mayhem.
This is why we must teach them and keep on teaching them. Teach them diligently and pray!
The Goal of Parenting, part 2
Throughout GBCK's parenting series we've been asking ourselves, What is it the goal of parenting? The answer, based on Deuteronomy 6:5, is to teach our children to love God.
But how do you teach them to love God? Isn't teaching best done by a professional? How can I teach my child about loving God when I don't know anything myself? Don't I need to know the Bible?
I realize that teaching a child to love God may seem scary. Yet, we are to "teach these things diligently."
Let me offer a beginning point. A really smart, dead guy once said something to this effect: You cannot fully love God until you fully understand what he did for you. And once we understand what God did for us, we understand how much he loves us, and once we understand how much he loves us our response is to love him back.
So, what did God do for us?
A couple months ago Julie took the boys to Ko'olina for a swim (thanks to furlough Fridays). The kids were in the water and she was a little ways up on the sand. She suddenly realized that she couldn't see Aaron, 3 years-old at the time. All she could see was his little hand waving above the water in what she immediately recognized as a call for help. She raced into the water and pulled him above the surface. Thankfully, he wasn't under for more than a few seconds. He was o.k.
See, this is what God did for us. He came to earth on a rescue mission. Just like Aaron, we are helpless to save ourselves and we need a savior. However, the similarities stop here. When God came to rescue us, he not only rescued us from death because of our sin, he became sin and died in our place.
So, the beginning point in teaching our kids to love God is to bring them to an understanding of the deadliness of sin. Sound morbid? Absolutely, because sin is morbid. But, once we understand the sacrifice behind God's love, our response is to love him back. If we don't connect God's love to his sacrifice then what we're left with is an ooey-gooey, Hollywood, I'm o.k., you're o.k. kind of love that's like a marshmallow: really sweet but no substance.
In part 3 I'll give some thoughts about how to talk about sin with our kids.
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