MikeOharaLive the intersection of faith and life

The Goal of Parenting

Over the course of our parenting series at GBCK there's been an underlying question we've been asking ourselves: what's the goal of parenting?

After some reflection I realized that one of my "goals" for my three sons is that they are liked.  I want them to have friends, I want them to fit in.  While I don't state this goal out loud, I do see how it determines how I parent.  I don't advocate follow-the-crowd behavior, but I do want my kids to fit in to a certain degree.

Lately, my middle son is saying he doesn't have anyone to play with at recess.  The other day Julie was at the school and saw #2 son at a distance during recess walking around by himself, verifying what he's been telling us.

Man, that broke my heart.

Is wanting my kids to have friends a bad thing? I don't think so.  But should this be the goal of parenting my kids?  Should my parenting be based on whether my kids will be liked?

What is the goal of your parenting?

Deuteronomy 6:5 says, "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."  Jesus recites this verse in the Gospels when asked what is the most important commandment.

In short, the whole aim/goal of life is to love God with our whole being.  Since parenting is part of life, it follows that the goal of parenting is to teach our children to love God.

Do I want my kids to have friendships? Yes.  Do I want them to be happy and successful in life? Absolutely.  Do I want them to have things and opportunities? Sure.

But, ultimately I'm learning that the aim of parenting is teach my kids to love God.

In the next couple of days I'll share some thoughts about how we teach our children to love God.

^"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, 'Of all the commandments, which is the most important?'  'The most important one,' answered Jesus, 'is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'" (Mark 12:28-30)

One Thing

The other day I was on the phone with a friend who was at the opening of GBCK's "PG: Parental Guidance" series this past Sunday.  Here's something that stuck out to me from the conversation:

Like most parents, he wants to do his best in raising his kids.  What really impressed me is he immediately applied what was said on Sunday to his life.  For him, the application is he started to gather his kids in the evening for a focused time of communication and prayer.  I love how he took one thing that was said on Sunday and is trying to implement it into his life.  Too often I'm inspired on Sunday but I don't do anything with it on Monday.  Another thing he does is he listens to the messages again during the week in order to catch something he may have missed on Sunday.  Wow!  (GBCK's message archive is here.)

The Bible tells us to be doers of God's word, not just hearers.  When we listen to sermons, let's do so with an open and discerning heart, tuning in to what the Lord is instructing us to do.  It's easy to criticize or to "tune out" because you heard it all before.  My encouragement is to sharpen your mind and prayerfully listen to the whisper and prompting of the Holy Spirit when listening to a sermon.

Ask yourself, "What is the one thing God wants me to learn, remember, and/or do?"

Remember, it's hear and do.

Actors

Bumped into some friends this morning at Starbucks that I haven't seen in a while.  Great to catch up and God is doing some pretty neat stuff in their lives.  One thing that was said over the conversation is we are not in control of things, but God orchestrates things.

Reminded me of something I recently read that said God is the director and producer of this cosmic stage we're on and we are simply actors.  The point the author was making is too often we reverse the roles where we become the director and God has a cameo scene every so often.

Rather than try to mold God into the scripts of our lives we must come under his direction.

Just a thought.

Welcome to MikeOharaLive.com

I'm launching a new blog under mikeoharalive.com.  Look for blog postings about faith in Jesus, being a father and a husband, leadership, and life observations.  I decided to open a new blog site for two reasons: 1) the wordpress.org platform is more robust than wordpress.com.  I'm planning to add features to this blog that can't be done at wordpress.com; 2) I'm using a new domain name: mikeoharalive.com.

In the meantime, check out the top ten blog posts from the old blog site:

10. God's Will

9. God, is that really you?

8. Life's measure

7. God-sized dreams

6. The 3rd Space

5. Sad day

4. 8 Laws of Growth

3. Proud

2. Leonard Sweet's discussion about  the church

1. Lighthouse