Parenting Q&A with Dr. Hale Akamine
This past Sunday GBCK featured a Q&A session with Dr. Hale Akamine as part of our Parental Guidance series. Over the past few weeks people submitted their parenting questions for Hale which he answered live on Sunday.
Here are some highlights:
Question: How do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: Talk about sex in the context of a loving relationship between a husband and wife. Help your child understand sex as a part of a healthy marriage.
Question: At what age do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: A suggested age is between 10-12 years old.
Question: At what age is it appropriate to date?
Answer: It's important to note that the human brain doesn't fully form its logical thinking abilities until age 24. Yet, the male reaches his sexual peak at age 17. So, to pair up your children in a dating situation puts them together when sexual urges are the strongest, yet their ability to reason isn't yest developed. It's suggested to encourage group activities when interacting with the opposite sex.
Question: When do I let my child quit an activity? What's the difference between teaching perseverance and being too driving?
Answer: First, ask why you desire your child to remain in an activity. Is it because you never played the sport, instrument, etc. that you want them to? If your child is losing interest, it's a good idea to put an end date to the activity and evaluate whether your child wants to continue.
These are just a few of the questions answered by Dr. Hale. You can listen to the full Q&A here under "Rock the Doc".
Speed Bumps
Yesterday we had our Christmas services at Grace Bible Church Kapolei. One element we always add to these "big" services is food. We do this for a couple of reasons: first, it adds a special-ness to the service because we don't serve food every week. Second - and more importantly - it creates a speed bump after the service. Food slows people down and prevents people from racing to their cars.
I think speed bumps are critical to the health of a church. Slowing people down creates an opportunity to connect with people. I love it after church when I see people praying for each other, trading phone numbers, or just having conversation. The reality is there will always be a percentage of people who don't connect with the church in any other way than attending on Sundays. Speed bumps help us to connect with those people too.
We have a hospitality tent set up weekly with coffee and snacks to encourage people to linger. Just another speed bump.
Yesterday I connected with a guy who's been checking us out over the last year or so. He walked in after not being in church for months. He's looking for hope and he knew to come to Jesus. So, over a plate of chow fun and manapua we decided to get together weekly for a season so we can walk though the "stuff" together. Thank God for the speed bump.
Why do I need to go to church?
For part 3 of our FAQ series we will answer the question, "Why do I need to go to church?"
If you think you need to go to church to be a good person, become more spiritual, or reserve your spot in heaven, then you don't need to go to church. There are lots of good people who don't go to church. Many people are in touch with their spirutality outside of church. And going to church will guarantee you a place in heaven no more than sitting on an airplane will make you a pilot, or going to McDonald's will make you into a Big Mac.
So, why go to church?
From my early teens to my early 20's I was pretty disengaged from church. I attended church, but I wasn't there, if you know what I mean. I mostly went out of obligation and because I liked a girl (she's my wife now). It wasn't until I turned 22 that I discovered I needed to go to church. When I think back, the need to go to church stemmed from a simple yet life-altering decision: I decided to follow Jesus.
It was this decision that caused me to need to go to church. I admit, I haven't always been happy with church, or I haven't always felt like going to church. Yet my commitment to follow Christ goes deeper than man's faults or how I'm feeling. In short, if I'm committed to following Jesus I need to go to church.
This Sunday we explore how following Jesus and going to church cannot be exclusive to each other.
Let me also say that at GBCK we try hard to make church a comfortable and compelling place for people to meet Jesus. This includes those who are discovering, or re-discovering, a relationship with Jesus.
There are many reasons not to go to church. Yet the ONE reason to go is found in the decision to follow Jesus who "loves us as if there's only one of us." (Augustine)
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