Parenting Q&A with Dr. Hale Akamine
This past Sunday GBCK featured a Q&A session with Dr. Hale Akamine as part of our Parental Guidance series. Over the past few weeks people submitted their parenting questions for Hale which he answered live on Sunday.
Here are some highlights:
Question: How do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: Talk about sex in the context of a loving relationship between a husband and wife. Help your child understand sex as a part of a healthy marriage.
Question: At what age do I talk to my child about sex?
Answer: A suggested age is between 10-12 years old.
Question: At what age is it appropriate to date?
Answer: It's important to note that the human brain doesn't fully form its logical thinking abilities until age 24. Yet, the male reaches his sexual peak at age 17. So, to pair up your children in a dating situation puts them together when sexual urges are the strongest, yet their ability to reason isn't yest developed. It's suggested to encourage group activities when interacting with the opposite sex.
Question: When do I let my child quit an activity? What's the difference between teaching perseverance and being too driving?
Answer: First, ask why you desire your child to remain in an activity. Is it because you never played the sport, instrument, etc. that you want them to? If your child is losing interest, it's a good idea to put an end date to the activity and evaluate whether your child wants to continue.
These are just a few of the questions answered by Dr. Hale. You can listen to the full Q&A here under "Rock the Doc".
Doing Bad Stuff
(The Goal of Parenting, part 3)
Julie is really good about doing a breakfast devotional with the boys. She reads from a daily devotional and then asks them questions and gets them to respond.
Today I did the devotional, and guess what it was about? Yep, sin.
So, how do you talk to kids about sin? (Go here to read about why we need to teach children about sin.)
If you ask my kids what sin is they will tell you it's "doing bad stuff." This is a typical response, not just for kids, but for adults too. But is sin really just about not doing bad stuff? If so, then we can deal with sin by changing our behavior. As the saying goes, "don't dance, don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew, and don't go out with girls who do."
However, the problem of sin goes beyond behavior modification; it's not about doing bad stuff. If we deal with sin by simply changing our behavior then who needs Jesus? All one needs is discipline, or inspiration, or a good therapist, or a strong mind, etc.
The problem of sin is that we cannot deal with sin. There is nothing we can do to save ourselves from sin. Even really good people who recycle, vote, use their blinkers on the freeway, and listen to Christian radio can't save themselves.
So when we teach our kids about sin, it's not only about doing bad stuff. Yes, let's correct bad behavior, but we must also teach them that we are lost in our sin and that no amount of good behavior can ever correct our sin.
At breakfast I recalled the story about Aaron nearly drowning at Ko'olina. That got their attention. I reminded them that no matter how hard Aaron tried he couldn't get his head above water. And just as mommy saved Aaron, so did Jesus save us.
I believe that when this really sinks in to our kids, when they really begin to understand in their hearts what Jesus did for us, it's the beginning of a lifelong journey of loving God.
And let me add, I know it sounds like Leave it to Beaver sitting at breakfast and talking about deep biblical truths, but it's not. In the middle of daddy's teaching are lots of burps, butt jokes, and general mayhem.
This is why we must teach them and keep on teaching them. Teach them diligently and pray!
Speed Bumps
Yesterday we had our Christmas services at Grace Bible Church Kapolei. One element we always add to these "big" services is food. We do this for a couple of reasons: first, it adds a special-ness to the service because we don't serve food every week. Second - and more importantly - it creates a speed bump after the service. Food slows people down and prevents people from racing to their cars.
I think speed bumps are critical to the health of a church. Slowing people down creates an opportunity to connect with people. I love it after church when I see people praying for each other, trading phone numbers, or just having conversation. The reality is there will always be a percentage of people who don't connect with the church in any other way than attending on Sundays. Speed bumps help us to connect with those people too.
We have a hospitality tent set up weekly with coffee and snacks to encourage people to linger. Just another speed bump.
Yesterday I connected with a guy who's been checking us out over the last year or so. He walked in after not being in church for months. He's looking for hope and he knew to come to Jesus. So, over a plate of chow fun and manapua we decided to get together weekly for a season so we can walk though the "stuff" together. Thank God for the speed bump.
Proud
I am so proud of Grace Bible Kapolei! Today was our Compassion Sunday. That means that individuals and families rose to the occasion and sponsored a child through Compassion International. For about a dollar a day these children will be rescued from the vicious cycle of poverty. They will receive medical care, an education, and most of all, they will meet Jesus. We had 39 children available for sponsorship and 28 were sponsored! Oh, man! 28 kids now have a great shot at a hope and a future. I'm so proud of the church rising up and living open-handed lives, understanding that what they do matters, and that Jesus magnifies their faith to make a difference. Way to go, GBCK!
Latest tweets
- Just found $12 in my pocket. Love when that happens! twitter.com/mikeohara808
- The problem w/ sin isn't that we do bad stuff; it's that we have no way to deal with sin. Thus, the need for a Savior. twitter.com/mikeohara808
- I am watching A Night of Gospel Preaching right now at http://bit.ly/nm5VT #mhc twitter.com/mikeohara808
Recent Posts
- Prayers for my Keiki
- Parenting Q&A with Dr. Hale Akamine
- Doing Bad Stuff
- The Goal of Parenting, part 2
- The Goal of Parenting